I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
