Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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