I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
