I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
