How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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