Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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