I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
