I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
well you can't waste a boner
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
