he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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