this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
