That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
