It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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