At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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