I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
