So drunk its hurt
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
