Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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