so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
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