just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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