At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
