3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
