His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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