hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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