I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
