The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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