the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
