Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i just had sex bonerless
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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