How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
