I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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