That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
