I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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