I need help removing her.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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