I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
