part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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