Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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