The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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