Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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