My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize