If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
