She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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