How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
