so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
