apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
