At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
