I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
