She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
