Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize