I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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