Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
