Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Swine flu. Run for my life!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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