Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
