dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
