i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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