420 ftw
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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