They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
