I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
