Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
my shit smells like andre
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
