This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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