Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
