Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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