His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
