never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize