Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
