is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
false alarm. still invincible.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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